In part one of “A Divorce Coach’s Toolkit,” we discussed some of the most helpful tools your divorce coach will help you use when you first consider a divorce. In this post, we’ll focus more on the tools and strategies you’ll need once you get closer to actually making the decision to file for a divorce and move on from your marriage. I use these tools to help my clients feel more empowered to make difficult choices. They also help clients cultivate a positive perspective and look forward to the future, even if they’re currently in a tough spot.
A Comprehensive Look At Your Finances
Even if you aren’t expecting emotional turmoil as a result of your divorce, you may still face some challenges when it comes to finances. Your divorce coach will help you take a look at your finances and how they’ll be affected by the ending of your marriage. This isn’t an attempt to change the outcome of your divorce by hiding assets or making changes to accounts (an illegal tactic). Instead, your divorce coach will discuss possible outcomes and provide you with a list of financial documents you’ll need to compile before your divorce proceedings begin.
Setting Goals and Using Affirmations
Goal setting is a must for anyone going through a divorce. Without goals, it will be difficult to visualize a path forward. Don’t underestimate their value, even if your current goal is simply to decide whether a divorce is right for you.
Fully fleshed out goals will also help you build stronger, more successful affirmations. Affirmations are a simple yet powerful technique used by life coaches and divorce coaches to help clients transform their lives. An affirmation forces you to focus on a helpful goal or behavior daily, which may make it more likely to occur. When we speak about something as if it is already true, it’s more likely to happen for us in the future.
For example, if you are leaving a marriage where you constantly felt unheard, your affirmation maybe, “I am confident in expressing my opinion to loved ones and friends.” You may not feel confident today, but by repeating this mantra to yourself daily, proponents of affirmations believe you will cultivate confidence over time. Your divorce coach in Minnesota can explain the guidelines for creating a strong and effective affirmation about where you want to see yourself during or after your divorce.
Seeking Additional Help
Many of us think that personal strength means handling our problems without asking for help, especially during a divorce. This is a total fallacy; in fact, sometimes the smartest thing you can do is ask an expert for help when you’re out of your element.
Have you discovered a hidden debt that is now your responsibility, or do you need someone to explain the accounts your spouse invested in over the years? Your divorce coach may refer you to a financial planner who has the specific knowledge required to answer all your questions about finances. Has your divorce brought up some personal issues you have yet to address? You may want to consider speaking to a therapist. Your divorce coach knows other reputable professionals who can help you out.
If you’d like to work with a divorce coach to work out the details of a potential divorce, or if you’d like a referral to a professional such as a therapist or financial planner, call (612) 564-0137 for more information. Learn more about my Edina divorce coach services here.